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Beware of the psychological damage of “good child”

There are such types of children. They are a “good child” in the minds of parents and teachers. They are obedient, sensible, and ruled, but do you know the inner needs of the child? You know, well -behaved children often need to take care.

Mr. Tao Xingzhi, a well -known educator, proposed the “six major claims”: liberating children’s minds, liberating children’s hands, liberating children’s mouth, liberating children’s eyes, liberating children’s space, and liberating children’s time. Perhaps it should be added to liberate the psychology of children -parents, beware of the psychological damage of “good children”.

4 -year -old Zhang Qian is a obedient child. Once, after the teacher asked them to go home, with the help of father and mother, they stacked three paper frogs with color paper. When I got home, Zhang Qian didn’t dare to tell the newspaper’s father, and did not dare to say to the mother who was cooking. Several times, she gathered courage and wanted to say but swallowed it back. After dinner, she was going to sleep, but she kept refused to return to her room.

“You child, why not obedient?!” Dad reprimanded her. Zhang Qian cried: “The teacher said, asking you to help me make paper frogs.” After listening to Zhang Qian’s answer, Dad stunned and looked at the clock on the wall: “Where can I buy color paper now?” Zhang will be said tomorrow. “Zhang Qian wanted to argue, saying that the neighbor Zhang Grandpa’s house had it, but he didn’t dare to say. In this way, Zhang Qian’s paper work was not completed. In the end, her mother agreed to explain to the kindergarten with her the next day, and she fell asleep with peace of mind.

Unexpectedly, the mother unit temporarily arranged for a business trip the next day. She sent Zhang Qian to the door of the kindergarten and hurriedly left.

At around 10 am, her mother received a call from the kindergarten teacher on a business trip, saying that Zhang Qian did not arrive at the kindergarten. Mom was busy calling her father. At noon, the anxious mother finally received a call from her father, saying that Zhang Qian found it. It turned out that she was afraid that the teacher would criticize her without completing her homework, so she didn’t dare to enter the kindergarten. She cried in a street garden not far away. Mom sighed for a long time: the child is very good and obedient, but it is too obedient …

In fact, in addition to sighing, Zhang Qian did not find the psychological reasons for the behavior of the child.

Zhang Qian was not like this. When she was two or three years old, she was very curious and liked to take risks, but whenever she wanted to be naughty or argued with adults, her mother scolded her, saying that she was disobedient, and her father even hit her. She slaps two. Slowly, under the control of the parents, the child has changed, becoming more and more obedient -this is simple, just act according to the will of adults. The adults like it, but the child has added problems: there is no opinion in the event, poor independence, and timidity.

Such “obedient” children, common features are that there are problems that they can’t be mentioned, or they dare not propose. They say that he is east to the east, saying that west will be west. Even if he is not satisfied, he will adapt to and obey others’ ideas. Especially for the elders, whether it is right or wrong, they dare not debate with them, because they have formed a formula in their hearts: they are obedient good children. Some of the “obedient” children are followed, polite, and the pursuit of praise. They dare not say their requirements and put forward their own views. Such a child has been distorted and was educated by parents to have a “slavery” psychology.

Such a child can’t help but think of Falcon. After the hunter caught the eagle, he did not eat it or give it to drink. When he resisted, he hit its head and “fan” dropped its wildness and arrogance. The eagle of the long sky has become a hug of rabbit. This is a kind of sadness.

However, unfortunately, ordinary parents still treat such children as obedient good children, and call the method of cultivating good children as a successful teaching child solution. Their psychology is being damaged by parents’ wishful family education.

Children’s mental health standard

Be able to observe things according to adults, remember quickly, remember, and remember. Can be summarized on specific and intuitive things. Keep your brain, rich imagination, good at raising various problems and phenomena around things, and can solve simple problems in daily life and learning.

Love parents, teachers, love children. Can express your joy and sorrow properly. Polite people, polite words, compassion, and appropriateness.

Do not cry if you fall or suffer or suffer, and the game loses. Don’t be afraid of dark animals with darkness and some weird images.

Do not make excessive requests to meet your needs. Love labor and cherish items. I like to grow flowers and raising small animals, like listening to music, watching albums, singing, dancing, painting and participating in various intellectual games, and can feel happy from it.

Being able to make specific and simple evaluations of your behavior, you can distinguish between yourself and others. Obief constraints. Accept the criticism and suggestions of others.

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When you are alone with everyone, you can comply with the rules and order of the game, obey everyone’s opinions in the gameplay, understand the feelings and needs of your companions, do not intentionally find the troubles of others, and help other children, and can get the children to get the children obtain it for children. Get happily.

In the face of a new environment or unfamiliar person, the restraint is scared.Don’t ask children or guests to eat.I can go to the store to buy some simple daily necessities, and I can walk alone on the sidewalks by the roads with more vehicles.(Editor in charge: Deng Qi)

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