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Should the elderly help their children for free to bring baby?I interviewed 3 mother -in -law and listened to their hearts

In China’s traditional concepts, many parents voluntarily bring their children for their children. Many couples think that the elderly have the obligation and responsibility to help them bring their baby. But in fact, the old man with Sun is not a legal obligation.

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According to media reports, the grandmother who lived in Chongqing told his son and a divorced daughter -in -law to court, because the two obviously had the ability to raise, but pushed her responsibility to her. The old man asked them to bring Sun compensation and received support from the court. In the end, the old man received a compensation fee of 100,000 yuan.

Should the elderly help their children for free to bring baby?I interviewed 3 mother -in -law and listened to their hearts

Picture source: Beijing time

Although there are very few such cases, many people think that the family does not need this, but it also reflects the status quo and thinking: Is it necessary for our parents to help themselves with their baby in Chinese society?

Should parents bring their parents for free? The old people think so

Modern young people are busy with work, and some people choose to have a second child after the second child policy. However, due to the soaring price of modern prices and other factors, many small families are double employees. There are no place, so many people want their parents to bring their baby. Although there is no clear face, some elderly people are a bit conflict about their behaviors.

Facing the help of children to bring their children, there are basically five views of the elderly:

1. New tide type

It is not unwilling to help take the child, but only think that only the children can raise their children in person, can they realize how it is not easy to be a parent, and the growth of the child is better;

2. contradictory type

I feel that I have no freedom to take my child every day. I feel particularly unwilling to be abducted by morality and emotions, but I am embarrassed to speak to my children;

3. Fashion type

If you don’t want to help bring your children, think that you don’t have this obligation, you want to enjoy your free retirement life;

4. Traditional type

I am willing to bring children, which can help children reduce stress, but also pass the boring time after retirement, and share the joy of heaven;

5. Demand type

I do n’t feel tired to bring my child at all, I am afraid that the child and themselves will not kiss themselves. When they grow up, they have only one name for themselves. They think that children must bring themselves.

The first three of them are old people who do not help their children to bring their baby. Their elderly life may be much free. It can spend more time on themselves. Whether it is social or health, it will greatly help health.

Should the elderly help their children for free to bring baby?I interviewed 3 mother -in -law and listened to their hearts

When Xiao Jiu threw this problem in the reader’s group, the aunts who usually did not like to participate in the discussion had “vomited” the truth, and after reading it, it made people feel emotional.

@退 退:

I just put a money and babysitter, a little disappointed. I am 60 years old, and my body is not very good. I originally lived with my son and daughter -in -law. Not only did I take my grandson to do housework, but the retirement salary was also used for them, but they would not help after get off work. I was doing everything. In order to rest a little, I decided not to live with them. During the day, I helped take my grandson and let my son and daughter -in -law take the child home at night.

I have to feel bad for myself. I did n’t have to rest all day. If the body collapses, they may not be filial to me, and the children are their, not mine.


We are really free of charge. We know that the child needs to work, and the work pressure is very stressful. We can’t pull our faces and ask for money with our children. It is impossible. The most important thing for the family is the joy, harmony and beauty. However, they still have to take care of their children after get off work. After all, we can’t help the children’s homework.

Should the elderly help their children for free to bring baby?I interviewed 3 mother -in -law and listened to their hearts

Among them, a mother -in -law chatted Xiao Jiu in private, and she told me clearly:

The mother -in -law brought her grandson without this legal obligation, but from the perspective of affection, it must be helpful when the son and daughter -in -law are embarrassed. Some daughter -in -law thinks that the mother -in -law takes the grandson to be righteous, and is paying debts for my son. For myself, I have to bring my granddaughter, but also to put money. I usually buy me a few cheap clothes as a return, but I still want to bring children, just for children, not for them, nor for them to rely on in the future.

My daughter -in -law once said to me: “You help me bring my children, I will care about you when you are old,”, but I think that even if you do n’t do anything for them, they will be filial to you. If your son and daughter are filial, Even if you do too much, you won’t say you good.

8 kinds of intergenerational “damage” childcare habits, must be seen by the elderly with the elderly with the baby

On the topic of the elderly with baby, it not only involves family relationships and obligations, but also cares about the healthy growth of children’s physical and mental health. Although the elderly take the baby out of good intentions, the problem cannot be ignored, which must be acknowledged.

1. Wear too much for children

Many elderly people are always afraid that the baby will have a cold, and it is too much dangerous to put on his clothes. In fact, the baby is hotter than the baby. Many times the baby has a cold and fever because he is sweating too much. The pores are opened when sweating. In the state, at this time, if a little baby will get sick. Therefore, do not wear too much for children to children, it is best to take back a piece of clothes before exercise.

2. Excessive protection, destroy the child’s intuition

When the child is sitting on the stool, the old man often puts his hand behind the child to prevent falling, but the child’s intuition is destroyed in this way. The child is used to having a hand behind, and the hand behind it happens to be gone, and the child will still lean back. If the child knows that the behind the stool is empty from the beginning, he will not lean back. 3. Do not let your child chew well while eating

Should the elderly help their children for free to bring baby?I interviewed 3 mother -in -law and listened to their hearts

Some elderly people will soft food, or feed them with water and water, which is actually very bad. The child’s normal meal is chewed with teeth. During the chewing process, the food will mix with saliva, and enter the stomach after fully grinding. Gastric juice without saliva, food will become difficult to digest and aggravate the child’s gastrointestinal burden.

4. Educational authority affecting parents

The elderly and young parents are different in educational concepts. Some elderly people will directly deny their parents’ education methods, and even teach their children to “don’t listen to your parents”. I don’t know who listened. Therefore, do not directly negate the education of his parents in front of your child. Even if there are different opinions, you should communicate behind it. When educating your child, you must adopt a unified attitude with his parents.

5. Take the baby as a “disabled person”

Should the elderly help their children for free to bring baby?I interviewed 3 mother -in -law and listened to their hearts

Many elderly people feel that their children are small. No matter what they do, they can do it, and even walking. In fact, if you want your baby to be healthy, exercise is necessary. You must let your child use their legs and walk more. The child not only can go up with the physical fitness, but also loves to eat more than before. fragrant.

6. Strike the child in public

Children do not want to disappoint their parents. When they do wrong, they will soon realize that this is wrong, but even if the parents are disappointed, they should not be reprimanded or even hit their children in front of others or even on the street. Children also have their strong but fragile self -esteem. Don’t hurt their self -esteem for a little thing. In this way, the child may give up himself and think that he is a bad child.

7. Always say “can’t” to the child

Should the elderly help their children for free to bring baby?I interviewed 3 mother -in -law and listened to their hearts

Don’t always say to the child that this cannot be done, that cannot be done, and too many imprisonment will affect the child’s intelligence and personality development. Those who are not able to speak can be prepared first, such as what you don’t want to let the child move. Can be placed where the child can’t get.

8. Always feed your children to eat

The child’s stomach also needs to rest, so that the food can have enough time to digest. Don’t be afraid that the child will not stop feeding the child to eat, but it will not be good for the child’s body.

The elderly to bring you children is a love point. It is not a duty. Whether the elderly take or children, they are their freedom, and they should not abduct the elderly emotional. For children, parents are unable to replace in the process of growth. Children who have no parents accompanied by growing up will have an impact on health and psychology. Even if the elderly help bring their children, they cannot completely throw their responsibilities to them.

Reference materials:

[1] [Controversy] Should children let parents bring their children for free? Guangdong Radio and Television-Today’s Most News. 2019-9-22

[2] Let the elderly help you bring your baby for free? Over 80 % of netizens stated that they should pay hard fees. Shanghai Hotline. 2017-9-5

[3] The child is born, does it take? Is the old man taking the child to the joy of God or “the tiredness of God”? . Educated youth network. 2019-11-13

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